Women in Black

I’m disappointed that I’m unable to watch this whole documentary. But this segment available on Youtube made me laugh. Seriously, these are some ridiculous abayat!

 

Weaving between worlds and having the freedom to do so…

Veiled, originally uploaded by Pink Delight.

Following on from my last post, some more thoughts…

One of the things that I love about being an Australian Muslim is that I have space to explore religious structures and faith. Although there are always an abundance of people ready to give advice or naseeha about what a Muslimah is etc, it can never be forced upon me. This is a great freedom and one that I am always grateful for, as I am someone who is easily stifled. I understand that I am the product of a highly individualistic society, I always seem to push against conformity, and I often wonder why. Is it arrogance, or is it that for the most part I recognize that social norms are hollow?

This beautiful faith that I have adopted, or returned to, comes wrapped within patriarchal structures. I struggle with this, as so many of us do. Sometimes I feel radicalized by the ridiculousness that I see around me, but that is usually just an upsurge of nafs, a reaction, an ‘I will not be what you say I have to be’ stupid, idiot people, don’t tell me what to do and think. Don’t inform me how I should be breathing, when your own thoughts are not considered, are brittle, encasing shadows. You don’t know because you have never looked beyond. You you you cannot. And this is what angers me, I see it so clearly but you don’t and he doesn’t and she won’t because she wants to be seen as rightous, pure, a woman of faith…

What is a woman of faith?

I believe that it is a woman who submits her whole self to God…completely, utterly, surrendered.

You believe that it is a woman who submits her self to men. Because you distort the verse that says that men are responsible for maintaining women and you point her obedience towards men. She must obey him. She must. Or else she is not a woman of faith.

Tell me, how do you know?

She says, that she will obey God, but that it is men who have decided that obeying God must make them deities in their own right. She does not have to obey men to submit to God. She knows this in her heart.

And she won’t.

For you this is rebellion. For you, this means that she antagonizes the natural order of things.

But who decided that this is the natural order? you say it is Allah. I say it is men.

Did Allah give me free will in order to take it away?

I love my faith. I love my Islam. Islam, surrender to the One Constant. My non-conformity is quiet. It is the outcome of curiousity. So many cultures embrace this Earth. Allah made us in many formats…

so that we could know each other, tread softly on the planet together.

I love my God. I love that our gentleness reflects His. I long to be contained by His Mercy and rise above these patterns that confound me. There is little sense in patriarchy, but Allah is above sense. For this reason, I’m willing to leave my rebellion behind, in order to stop spending the time it takes to wonder about it, write about it, act out. In order to learn. I appreciate that I have this option. I understand fully that it is a privilege to taste a world and then have the choice to leave it, should it be too difficult. I understand that many women don’t have this option.

My tasting is hopefully done in a spirit of sincerity. I wish to learn. and above all else, despite my fascination with culture, I long to leave it behind..mine, theirs, yours.

And belong to Allah only.

Inshaallah.

 

On Beautiful Hijab

“And when ye ask of them (the wives of the Prophet) anything, ask it of them from behind a curtain. That is purer for your hearts and for their hearts”

Qu’ran 33:53

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InshaAllah, in Yemen, I will be once again wearing niqab. I’m actually looking forward to it. Despite the questions that I have about the obligatory nature of covering even the hair, and my leaning towards the understanding that it is modesty that is prescribed, as discussed by Muhammed Asad in his tafsir.

“[My interpolation of the word “decently” reflects the interpretation of the phrase illa ma zahara minha by several of the earliest Islamic scholars, and particularly by Al-Qiffal (quoted by Razi) as “that which a human being may openly show in accordance with prevailing custom (al-adah al-jariyah)”. Although the traditional exponents of Islamic Law have for centuries been inclined to restrict the definition of “what may [decently] be apparent” to a woman’s face, hands and feet - and sometimes even less than that - we may safely assume that the meaning off illa ma zahara minha is much wider, and that the deliberate vagueness of this phrase is meant to allow for all the time-bound changes that are necessary for man’s moral and social growth. The pivotal clause in the above injunction is the demand, addressed in identical terms to men as well as to women, to “lower their gaze and be mindful of their chastity”: and this determines the extent of what, at any given time, may legitimately - i.e., in consonance with the Quranic principles of social morality - be considered “decent” or “indecent” in a person’s outward appearance.] hence, let them draw their head-coverings over their bosoms. [The noun khimar (of which khumur is the plural) denotes the head-covering customarily used by Arabian women before and after the advent of Islam. According to most of the classical commentators, it was worn in pre-Islamic times more or less as all ornament and was let down loosely over the wearer’s back; and since, in accordance with the fashion prevalent at the time, the upper part of a woman’s tunic had a wide opening in the front, her breasts cleavage were left bare. Hence, the injunction to cover the bosom by means of a khimar, (a term so familiar to the contemporaries of the Prophet) does not necessarily relate to the use of a khimar as such but is, rather, meant to make it clear that a woman’s breasts are not included in the concept of “what may decently be apparent” of her body and should not, therefore, be displayed.]“

This verse discusses the semantics of khimar, however we now commonly refer to head covering as hijab, although hijab actually refers to the curtain or screen referred to at the beginning of my post. I still find the experience of covering my hair and body, extremely liberating. And taking it a step further and covering the face as I did for a few months some time ago, is one of the most powerful experiences of my life. It is immensely satisfying to walk amongst others and see and not be seen. I loved it. I felt invinsible…and invisible, lol!

I stopped wearing niqab because I tired of other people’s reactions. I wasn’t trying to present myself as Pious Muslimah of the Month, I was exploring something which I considered very much part of our history. Niqab has been worn by Muslim women for centuries, and might I add it has been loved by Muslim women for centuries. Not everyone hates it, as is so often assumed. I liked it, and would have continued to wear it, except for the fact that our culture here is really not set up for it, it becomes so difficult to maintain in a non-segregated society. I’m not yet convinced that Islam requires sex segregation, again, I think it is religion being filtered and understood through cultural lenses, yet, I find myself preferring such arrangements.

Don’t misunderstand me, I like men! I enjoy talking to interesting, intelligent or fun people of either gender. But I’m much, much more comfortable in female only environments. Perhaps this is because I am used to it, I went to an all girls school. The thing is I know how easily platonic friendships can become non-platonic, I have seen it happen so many times. I have had many male friends who have remained just that…but still, there is often that air of possibility. Life for me is much simpler without it, that heady atmosphere of sexual attraction, or knowing that another finds you beautiful, is something that I can do without. I don’t want it, I have my avenue for all things lustful and I love and am content with him, thank you very much!. So I prefer not to be friends with men, business or learning is fine, but social interactions I prefer to keep at a minimum.

I know, some of you are now thinking about same sex attraction. Lets face it, a minority of people experience this, it is not an argument that works against social segregation of the sexes and I think that we tend to understand our own gender better and just know when someone is not at all interested, so perhaps women are less likely to be over-bearing in that way. Or maybe, because I am definitely heterosexual, there is no possiblity of any charged atmosphere, because I just don’t think that way, so I am comfortable. This is not to suggest that I advocate a pedantic system that encourages a neurotic fear of the other gender. I’m just saying that I like it, I enjoy how it works.

I enjoy keeping a separate world, I enjoy not being seen by men that are not mahram. That being said, in many ways I am liberal and progressive (boy do I hate those words!). I don’t enjoy conservative groups, and I’m frustrated by black and white understandings of reality. For me, sex segregation is a cultural pattern that is informed by and works very well with religion. For most of my friends however, it is annoying!

For this reason, it is totally impractical for me to wear niqab, as it requires a segregated environment. In my life, that is too difficult. If I believed that it was religiously mandatory, I would persist through the dificulty, but as I don’t, it just becomes ridiculous.

However in Yemen, it is the norm. In Tarim, I won’t be mixing with men at all. And really, I can’t wait! I love having such defined space. And as my ideas about the whole culture versus religion thing aren’t fixed, I’d like to see how my feelings about it change/do not change after living there.

I have to admit though, I’m kind of disappointed that I’ll be living in a town in which they wear only black!

I much prefer this kind of thing.

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I just remind myself that I am going there to learn, not to indulge my love of ethnic textiles! Although surely there’s no harm in the latter!

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edited to add a response to comments

AA my dears,

thanks Achelois, nice to see you here the thing about adhering to cultural norms is when do you make a break if something is uncomfortable? It’s not my place as someone from outside a culture to direct them on “how to be”. But for example in Saudia, I could never accept not driving just because it isn’t done and I would not feel comfortable with the sex segregation or niqab wearing there! Nor in a lot of Yemen! Because I find the underlying (and often overlying!) misogyny unbearable.

I feel comfortable with it in a world of my own understanding that doesn’t exist. One where there is a comfortable easy parallel lifestyle for men and women with contact when need be…and this is normal contact that I refer to, not all the pedantic eye averting and fakeness that so often counts for modesty.

When pushed upon me, with a whole set of cultural norms that I dislike, I imagine I could find it suffocating. BUT, the area that I am going to in Yemen inshaAllah is very special spiritually. So, it fascinates me because although I know that the culture is extraordinarily patriarchal, I also know that the people in this locality are very unusual in that they live a live that is purely focused on achieving the pleasure of Allah and learning about the inner message of the Qu’ran.

So, I guess I want to see if it can work. Because this is always what is said, if a people are truly close to Allah, there will not be injustice amongst one another. I want to know how the local women feel about their cultural norms. I don’t doubt that I will find them difficult, but I want to know how the women feel, in this unusually spiritual place.

And because I am already quite comfortable wearing niqab and segregating(on my own terms however ;)I am really looking forward to it.

I am fully aware of my attraction to the “exotic” and I tend to make fun of myself for this, on my last blog, I categorized such posts under ‘unashamed orientalism’! I can see past the surface appeal of this world of ‘otherness’ however, and I have never suggested that it is ‘better’! What interests me is the point where faith and culture meet. I am a strange creature in that I don’t really trust anything. Only Allah. I can happily love people without trusting, I can enjoy a culture without trusting, I can move between ideas without trusting. This tasting of experiences from everwhre is interpreted as superficial, “not knowing what I want”, but for me, the world is superficial. There are so many ways of understanding everything. I draw the line at oppression and abuse that can be quantified. This is where I will stand and judge.

Usually people want to rescue me from my “confusion”, situate me within a definite point of view. But they fail to recognize that I don’t want to be situated anywhere that is closed. My openness is what allows me to float. And I hope to move towards Allah. I see though that at the moment I am drifting. I don’t need solidity in my world view, but I need method.

The method that I will find in this valley in Hadhramout is a conservative one, but it is a conservative shell that seems rich with depth, when so often, in most parts of the world, we are just left with the shell. Perhaps I am being characteristically idealistic. We’ll see.

My interest in culture stems from just trying to understand what Allah has given us in this odd world! And He is my Relief from the exhaustion of living in a non-fixed reality. He is One and with Him, my world is Singular. So this is what I hope to gain, by travelling to this place in Yemen. I want to sit with people who live for Allah, I want to learn from them, stop thinking, stop analyzing, stop thinking that I know, when in reality, I know nothing at all, and for a lengthy period of time…just be still. InshAllah.

As for liberal and progressive, I also hate the terms moderate and extremist and anything else that is thrown about so superficially. I embrace being liberal in many ways, but they are all labels that I find painfully inadequate.

 

one boob called baba ghanoush…

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Or at least that’s how it seems at the moment.

One is baba ghanoush and the other is hommus and my little boy wants to sample both! I’m figuring that they must be different flavours because why else would he need to change between them…a mouthful here, a mouthful there!

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Quite the gastronome, my son!

The thing is, after he’s tried from both, he starts looking around…for another one!! How many does he think I have?

What does he want to sample next?

za’atar perhaps?

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or maybe some foul

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No, still not happy?

Aah, must be time for sweets!

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NO, you are NOT having coffee!

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Travel Bug

DSC_6813_Chefchaouen, originally uploaded by olopez.

 

Protected: When communication fails…

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Mimbar, Imam Hadi Mosque, Sa’da, North Yemen

Mimbar, Imam Hadi Mosque, Sa’da, North Yemen, originally uploaded by enthogenesis.

 

a question for those of you living in the Middle-East?

Do you think it is safe at the current time to travel to Yemen?

Especially since between my travel partner and I we will have five kids under five?

Is the trouble mostly confined to Saada and Marib provinces?

 

Fajr Adhan in Tarim

Fajr in Tarim by Guidancemedia

Is it possible that soon my day will start like this?

I have tears in my eyes just thinking about it, and it occurred to me that being a Western Muslim is special in the sense that hearing the adhan is not something we take for granted.

I am trying very hard not to turn this place into an idol. I know that I should be able to change myself here and now in my living room. Still, I cannot help but long to be in a place where people are really living Islam, to be woken by the joy in the caller’s voice as he announces the prayer.

Subhan Allah, it is so beautiful, so achingly beautiful.

 

Seven Random Things About Self Meme

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Janet has tagged me for the Seven Random Things About Self Meme.

It is like this.

‘Rules, you know, seven weird or random things about yourself. You can even re-cycle a previous seven or pick a theme. Tag another five people. But any or all of it, only if you want to.’

1.) I’m tired of myself, please let me get to Yemen!

2.) I’m tired of myself, please let me get to Yemen!

3.) I’m tired of myself, please let me get to Yemen!

4.) I’m tired of myself, please let me get to Yemen!

5.) I’m tired of myself, please let me get to Yemen!

6.) I’m tired of myself, please let me get to Yemen!

7.) I’m tired of myself, please let me get to Yemen!

OK, now I know that was a cop out, but it sums it up really!!

I tag whoever wants to do this!